LOVE CONFESSION: TOO CLOSE BUT STILL TOO FAR

by: Lavi Singh

Possible and impossible

Two contrasting words... both are valuable
                      

Most often, we primarily think the impossibilities of a situation before we recognize its possibilities. This is quite common in life, in love in particular. We think that a certain situation is quite impossible but we could make things possible, for we believe that love works in mysterious ways and love is able to make impossible things ... possible.

I may not be a writer who could easily express my thoughts into words…

but I have a heart that feels, listens and speaks with another heart (hoping your heart would listen).

                        

We have a much valuable person in front of our eyes but we keep on searching for others. Why am I telling this? Simply because at this point in time, I know someone who has just touched my life with a smile - a kind of smile that is so captivating, pure and electrifying, and with a positive attitude that transcends all the negatives. 

This someone has taken my mind. The more I think about her, the more I feel like crazy and my brain doesn’t step up. I simply can't ignore her presence in my entire being as if I am held captive by her simplicity and charm.

She knows she’s in love with me, yet I try to keep adding one step backward to distance myself away from her so I couldn’t hurt her. She is too cute and sweet, and I hate holding back my feelings but I’m afraid because I don’t want ever she get hurt or my bad luck would bring sadness to her face. I love her so much but there are things I couldn’t change. I don’t know what to do. It’s like I am giving a clear plain paper and a pencil to a baby. Now it’s just a matter of time and wait of what she gonna draw on that paper, so she could have an ample time thinking of what kind of person I am.

I didn’t sleep tonight. Every time I close my eyes, I've seen her face and heard her voice. I don’t know what’s happening to me, (don’t I really know? or I just hide?). I hate to admit, I’m in love with her. It’s very possible to love her but I make it impossible because me and her couldn’t be together plus the fact that she's from hundred miles away. I know she’s sad thinking that I might not love her. Oh God I can't stand to see her sad, it pains me inside..if she only knows how I am dying to be with her. It's like a torture… Sometimes, I am in the verge of giving in, telling her how much I love her, get closer to her just to see her smile again and take pride for I am the reason of that smile… but I stopped myself because it’s the only reason I know not to hurt her.

What shall I do?

Shall I tell her about my feelings?

Or shall I wear a mask and pretend I don’t love her?

My life is so busy but still I waited for her like a kid. Her simple “hi” is like a river that quenched my thirst. It’s like I don’t feel hungry once I receive her text. Whenever I get sad or mad, her simple message works like a hug. I don’t know who she really is but she has this power of love that touches every single veins of my precious heart, and keep me thinking about her naughty, sweet, pure and happy nature. If I have to choose my last wish I would choose to watch her from a distance when she laugh because her smile is the only thing which makes me stop on her door steps.

I waited fair enough. Now I need to stop worrying about what would happen in the future. We can’t change the past and the future is yet to come. All I have to do is live the present, try to make a difference and don't mind others. 

Is it about time to tell her how much I love her?
Do I need to go close and hold her, hug her tightly , and tell her...
“Please don’t say anything today, just feel me and my breath, it speaks all about my feelings and my wishes ”.

Today, I decided to stop holding back. She may be far from me but she is so close in my heart. She has that special room inside me. Who knows what would happen next. I laid down my cards. I must admit that I love her. I don’t like to see any impossibilities now. Everything is possible. Things may not happen today, but someday, somewhere, somehow we would meet and magic happen. Love never comes with warranty for anything but all hold on hope. Now my hope is telling me to tell her how much I love her. Moon and earth never meet each other but when the moon is full grown, it makes the earth more beautiful. Even if he gets that light from someone else, still people don't care because all they see is the bright light which comes from the moon. 

I don't care what people say now. I care only of what my heart is telling me.

Please listen...

"no matter how far is the distance 

between you and me,

 I love you. 

I love you so much straight from the heart".