THE HARD DAYS

      "Restore within me the integrity of heart that will not be shaken by any storms.., that no matter how hard my days are, still I will stand firm."

     It was a hot weather on that particular day, November 30, 2011, yet I didn't mind the heat. In fact, I was feeling cold inside. I was feeling blue and my entire being was like a robot after I left my computer with a  heavy heart. I decided to visit my friend after a stroll at my favorite mountain peak.  This is what I usually do every time I got a heavy feeling. To spend sometime to unwind.

     Little did I know, that day would give my life an abrupt twist. As I maneuvered my motorbike, I noticed him: "A big man with a mustache. He's approaching towards my direction and before I knew it, He was blocking my way.

     "Give me the key!" he demanded.

I screamed. I didn't move, holding on to my keys tightly. Desperate, he straightened up and pulled something out of his pocket, omg  a knife!!

     "I will kill you!, he  hissed pointing the knife at me.

     I couldn't cry, I closed my eyes and prayed aloud, speaking words only God could understand. And soon, at one point during the most terrifying moment, somehow, I was certain I would not die. I didn't know what happened, maybe confused by the sound I made, the man began cursing and then in a second he dashed to the street and jumped into a passing vehicle. He was gone. omg how did it happen? I was shivering when I left that place heading towards my friend's house.

     She wasn't there when I arrived at our rendevouz (our hiding place when we need to unwind). I went straight to her study room. Still full of energy, I grabbed her guitar and played a praise song. While I was plucking and humming the song, the hurtful realization of a relationship, the heavy feeling of the emotional distress I had for the day and that horrible incident flashed back my mind. It was towards the middle of the song that I broke into tears. I tried as much as I can to stand strong, to maintain a happy aura, but right that very moment, I gave in to tears!. Very much thankful that along my journey, He is always there, protecting me. Praise Him.

HOW DO I LOVE A PERSON

      This is the kind of question I often ask from myself. A question that always gives me a flashback of how life has treated me, of how I journey my life in the course of love... yesterday and today!

My love is a gift to myself and to you

With much love in the heart, I sometimes feel the need to escape the harsh realities of the world. I want only happiness, even magical happiness.  I often go to the mountain peak to complete my fantasy trip. I call it my magical love fantasy. It makes me more joyful than anything else. To savor the word love.

When it comes to love, I'm maybe blind! lol..coz I just love to be in love and am willing to sacrifice everything for it. I am extremely devoted and even find myself ignoring my partner shortcomings. Being in love is one way for me to go beyond reality and escape the ordinary everyday world. It makes me feel alive yeah.. especially when I heard that my loved one is present with me. It allows my spirit to soar. Some people say I'm an incurable romantic, capable of being swept off to fantasy land. Well, they maybe right, however, I'm deeply spiritual and don't take relationships or sex lightly. 

I am highly affectionate and easy to please, and appreciate the efforts of others especially the effort of the person I love. I want to know that I am loved and so I prefer someone who is loving, sensitive and demonstrative to be at my side. I give unselfishly of myself to others, but sometimes run the risk of losing my own identity in the process. I am quite aware of it though.. but I tolerate it sometimes, coz what I really looking for is a special connection with someone I feel will accept and understand me. Life feels shallow and dry to me when romance is missing  awww lol.. – so I'm eager to take the plunge. Always take the risk.. but I must be careful though… sometimes I'm so keen to be romantically connected that I dive in too quickly and find myself connected to someone unsuitable.Why unsuitable? because the someone cannot meet my expectation. I must be on guard of my feelings too, I hope. This is how I am journeying in love <3

My love is a gift simply wrapped for my loved one to easily open up.  Haayyy buhayy, parang life :)