Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Storms in Love and Friendship (Engineering Groom)

"There may be so many reasons to dislike someone, but no reason is required to love someone.”

There is nothing in this world that is wonderful than love.  Because of the wonderful feeling it can give, many of us if not all, desire every relationship to last long, either it could be a friendship love or romantic love. We love to be in love. It’s like a lightning that suddenly hit us, but instead of killing us, it  revitalize our entire system- mind, body and soul.  It strikes us in its own sweet time. Sometimes, we can barely identify what kind of love we feel towards a certain individual. Though we have many why’s, but still, we go “for a dip in the pool of sweet loving”.  We don’t even care the world coz our world is the love we have towards that special person (hmm sounds a lot like me). This is the kind of feeling that I was able to say, “The closer I am to you, the happier I am.”

Get Closer

Every relationship has its ups and downs. As what I have mentioned at some of my previous posts, “Love does not always come on easy waters.” Therefore in times of storm in our love journey, we need to speak with a  heart. We need  to get closer, to open up and if possible  seek advice from trusted people or friends.


Reaching out to others by opening up our heart and sharing out to them our thoughts and desires- above all confide to them our problems- has lessen the heavy feeling we have inside.   All we do in reaching out is speak with a heart. When you speak with your heart, another heart listens.  

We are all journeying people in life and in love. Our journeying heart is prone to different emotions caused by the people we meet during the course of our journey. People with different colors and belief. People that could affect us in our outlook in life.

Sometime before, a friend of mine  shared his experience about his friendship towards a girl. This girl greatly affects his belief and even make him discourage to befriend with any other girls with the same course and belief as hers.  How this things happen? It all started in online friendship.  It's about the story of Ashik, an Indian friend. 

(Ashik H. of India)

I value friendship. I had some female friends and I got close encounter with Indian girl. I was afraid to love and no one came my way, that is the truth.
Three (3) years back, I was in friendship with an engineering Indian girl. A girl who studies engineering or completed her studies. The friendship was good. She loved reading my emails. Always guided me to succeed in life to an extent. I am from India. India is going ahead with engineering.  She is a result of such ridiculous thinking of Indian government. So here we have a tons of engineering colleges and lot of these so called techs.

This girl loved my emails. We can judge a person from her emails. So I happened to know that. She wasn't my choice . She was obsessed with engineering. She was in love with me. She was afraid to tell . The friendship continued for a while. Meanwhile I got a job but it has no connection about engineering. I told the girl that I got a job. She was interested to know the nature of my job. When I told him about it, she said : "You are not having an engineering degree to be my groom". I was astonished and shocked . I never loved her, I only treat her as a friend so how come she was able to say that? she wasn't my gf. She was not a best friend of mine either. I didn't tell anything bad. I let her boast her engineering degree. I waited for an opportunity to tell her that i never loved her. Indians who study Engineering always prefer engineering degree grooms and vice versa. There is no dating system. The choice of partner is decided by their parents. Girls obey them and prefer engineering grooms as well. That opportunity came when she send her engagement photos without a subject. She would have thought that sending engagement pics in email would hurt me. So I told her that I am happy about the outcome. I even wished her all the best. At last, I had the guts in telling her that I didn't love her. I never loved her more than a friend. She was not a match for me. I   don't like her being too proud of herself and  humiliating others who has a lesser degree than her. I was happy to know she's getting married and got an engineering groom. I knew her nature of engineering obsession and choice of engineering grooms.

The friendship did not last long. I didn't show much interest after that. She did not send invite for marriage. I removed her email id and details. Though i was not in love with her, this incident affects the way I think. So I was frustrated with life, with India and Indian third world techs. So from that day on, I decided not to include any Indian techs in my friends circle and social networking sites. I am Indian, but I don't support India as well for that matter. I m proud to be global citizen. I will live up to it.

I don't want to hurt anybody in life. Life has given me hurt and got further cheated by India and Indians. Most of my indian friends didn't get me. They are too focused on themselves, too proud without considering how they  hurt others. I am not in India now, I got a job in other state and live a life as global citizen.


I find this post a bit fragile, but I have to share this for us to ponder...
This is just a simple and common incident, but its effect to a person's mind and belief is tremendous.
Our emotion greatly affects us in love and in friendship that even lead us to blindness,
...blindness  from what is right or wrong.
We cannot be right at all times, especially when our ego is controlling us.
...ego that stained our heart,
...stain that poisons our entire being.
Imagine a life with a POISONOUS HEART? What good is there? 
We are a journeying person. It is all up to us on how to make this journey worthwhile.

For Ashik:
This post has made me think about the arrange marriage cases in  some other countries, like India.  Could it be the reason of why some others has to sacrifice their loved ones? Engineering groom to engineering bride.. so sad to know about this.    
May you find peace and love in your heart my friend<3

Thanks for posting.

~Leony Moonrose~

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