Wednesday, October 19, 2011


"As each moment make known to me, I will discover new things..."

Each moment make known is a self discovery towards new and challenging things. 

These past days, dealing with the bad breaks of life and love has turned my world upside down. I thought I've gone crazy, with so much tension in me. I couldn't think, couldn't even work. Everything was so messed up! ohh what a life! I need to do certain things but my willingness hinders me.  I need to think rightly but I was too weak to even think. I felt all alone. I didn't know where to find anyone in the trenches like me, who were a little bit further along in their journey in this life and were willing to help me and teach me or advice me the right steps to take  to make sure I stayed on the right track. I felt like an outcast that no one was with me. Totally alone! Lost is the word to describe that phase of my life.

Tears has accompanied me throughout this journey of being alone. I lost my trust to anyone. I felt like I was taken for granted. Negative feelings engulfed my sorrowful heart and weary mind.  I know it wasn't right, but I let myself, at least for a moment, to have something to pin down. I cried hard and gathered all the pains inside me, and shout it out the best I can. Yeah, crying out is my way of consoling myself. This is how I dealt with pain.. tears is my console, my bestfriend. It was the first one to rescue me. Tears never fail to accompany me during my  hard days .. tears was all I got and it was the same tears that taught me about how it is to live.

Live with love and Survive
"I am used to pain" has already become my mantra. uhh? what is in the pain that I pampered much? Realization struck me, but instead of hurting, it has invigorated my entire being.  It took me sometime to realize that all  was caused of self pity. Pampering pain and self  pity will do no good, it's just a waste of time. So what!!  if things didn't turned out right as expected? 

Being away for quite sometime has helped a lot in curing my wounded heart.  That experience made me realize that even though I had been battered with pain, life had to be more about meaning, that life is full of beauty. Come to think of the less fortunate individual who are searching food for survival.. They survived!  so why can't I? 
I am a survivor... A survivor from physical anger of nature and from the hurtful playing emotion caused by people. With that tears, I am much stronger than I realize. I am stronger and more capable than I know. In fact now, I can proudly say, after all the pain I've been trough..I can handle everything that comes my way with strength to spare. Tears has become my strength.

Right  now, I need to change my view of myself to be as strong as I need to be. I am the master of my own self. I must treat it right. I must direct myself to be what I need to be. Right at this moment, I am what I need to be. In the next moment, according to an author, I will be able to respond to that moment with ease and grace. And so in the next moment as well. I musn't get distracted with this pain the world has given me. I must walk ahead, hold my head up high, and face the world wearing a confident smile. I am what I am and what I need to be. Life only seems irresistible  when I allow the future to roll out before me, outlined with fear and doubt. I will not live it as I fear. I will not live it as I imagine. I will experience it as it comes, each moment. This is my life in love's moment.. and this is how I must live my life.  I do believe now that each moment make known is a discovery of  new things in love and life. Out of this moment, I can be a different person than I am right now.

Allow this discovery of newness
I must allow this discovery of newness and strength to grow. I must set fear and doubt aside and fill myself with faith and action fed with courage, as I go along my journey in this newness, and with Love and Peace in the heart. Oftenly, before I was too weak.. but now, giving up is not my choice of word. I am strong and capable. I can rise up, fly high above the blue sky of hope, to the challenges of my life with much courage and love<3.  I can reach and touch the moon with my bear hands and shine out with my pure wish of all goodness.. goodness to myself and to the people who hurt me. I wish them all goodness, wellness and love as I step out into the world to embrace each new day with power infused with love and peace.<3 Nothing is impossible. :)

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