Be In A Relationship With Yourself (Ultimate Goal)

Has there ever been a time when you felt like you held onto something?

You fought hard for it, but ended up frustrated or exhausted,

Because you consider yourself a burden instead of a relief?

 

We have all had a desire to belong to something or someone - to those we cherished.

We treat them with kindness.

We show them our time, concern, and care.

We wanted to make them happy.

We pay attention to their needs.

Trying to comfort them as best as we can.

What's the point of doing this in the first place?

Do we really know the people we spend time with? 

 

Or is it "WE", whom we really need to know more about?

Know Yourself Better Than Others

In many cases, we neglect knowing ourselves (what we feel, how we act, and how we treat people).

We tend to pay more attention to others than to ourselves.

In an effort to make others happy, we ignore our own happiness.

In the hopes that their contentment and happiness would make us happy as well.

 

As some say, how we treat others reflects how we would like to be treated.

It is like giving others something we don't have

In the blind hope that they will do the same for us.

 

Does it make sense?

 

"Giving others what we don't have"

How could we give what we don't have?

 

Well, it does make sense at one point.

We rarely admit it, but yes, we do give others the things we don't have.

 

We give comfort because we want to be comforted,

We treat people with kindness because deep inside us, we also want others to be kind to us.

We give love in the hope that we will receive the same amount in return.

 

Caring for others is never a mistake, though!

So long as we take care of ourselves as well.

 

Keep treating others with respect according to your feelings,

At the end of the day, the world is just a world. You can't make things big unless you do.

You are part of it, so make it yours.

Let its energy flow through you instead of the other way around.

When there is no deserving person on this earth who values the essence of being a good human, then BE ONE.

 

Even if the world is too preoccupied with what they consider special, you can still be special by acknowledging the special characteristics you have and valuing others who have qualities that help you become a better person.

Build that relationship in any way you can. You don't need to be around the person, just feel their energy and embrace them with that same energy.

 

Love the person.

Love his energy.

Engage in a relationship with him, not in his body, but in the person he that he is....

In what he is,

In what he does.

 

Become intimately acquainted with his view of the world and with himself.

Engage yourself with the beauty and the more dreams and goals,

The things he wishes to create and that be worthy of virtue in this life are those that are in line with his values.

Be in relationship with the discipline he has acquired as he grew in some directions in his life.

 

Be in a relationship with the totality of him.

The inner him with the desire of making you his comfort.

When the baggage on his shoulders is too heavy

Lend him your shoulder.

Especially when no one is around,

To make him feel at home with you.

 

Be in a relationship with him

Like you are in a relationship with yourself.

 

It is through knowing and loving yourself first that you can extend love to others.

 

How can you love and value yourself?

Be in a relationship with your inner self and make it your goal.

 

Instead of wasting energy on that relationship goal,

Be in a relationship with your goal.

Which Wolf will win?

When I am into emotional state..

"I" and "myself" always have a debate.

When "I" realizes that something is shaky and should do something before its late, "myself" tries to contradict.

"I" said, "stop hindering myself. I know what am doing and I always do stuff in practical way!"

But "myself" just said, "no, you're not! Your practical ways can be bad and hurting at times.You disregard real emotion which myself is expert in dealing with!"

"I replied, "are you sure that you couldn't make bad decision out of your crazy emotion?

Both have good reasons and none of them will give-way. They are like wolves, ready to attack when  one jeopardize the other. 

Its a battle between practicality over emotion or vice versa

Career over personal relationship (mind over heart)

Love over hurt

Good intention over bad ways..

Can't they just go together and agree at one point?

This "debate of self" reminds me of the story of the two wolves. An old Cherokee Indian story. 

One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego". 

He continued...

"The other one is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith". 

The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

"Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied,

"THE ONE YOU FEED".

Knowing which wolf to feed is the first step towards recognizing you have control over your own self.

Its easy to say this but if we are into real situation, we couldnt really decide which one to feed,

As we come to age, we gradually become aware of the many things in the external world which are largely beyond our ability to control. Especially now that we are expose in social media or online stuff. Our emotion is at stake and its kinda hard to acccept.. but a more shocking realization is that there are many things about ourselves that we seem powerless to control. 

Wait a minute...

Is it the reason why "I" and "Myself" cannot control themselves too? and no matter how they try to get along well, still they ended up in a debate?

Jeez.. sounds scary!

What about you, arent you get scared of the fact that the wolves inside us have a never-ending fight? 

How aware are you of the two different opposing "wolves" operating within your mind and heart?

Have you ever been disappointed  by the choice of behavior because you knew that there was a more positive option but you just didnt choose it?

I been into this many times

especially in dealing with heart matters. 

I tried to feed the good wolf, the unselfish and understanding one inside me even if I ended up hurt of my decision. 

Thats how it should be

Life is just like that.

Choose to be better

I heard somebody said

"Life is stupid"

(sometimes that somebody is me)

Why cant just we say "I am stupid, or I've been stupid in my choices"

Is it that hard to admit?

We have our own choices in this what they call "stupid life".

A choice to do or not to do,

to love or not to love,

to hate or not to hate,

to accept or to decline,

to say a yes or a no..

A choice to dislike, to pretend,to control, 

a choice to sacrifice for others,to compromise...

A choice to wear mask or not to wear mask..

Choice to understand or to act dumb..

We do have our choices,

and I prefer "to understand"

... understand that everyone is wearing mask based on their priority, on their set goals..

I choose to understand that everyone has its own limits in everything, that each one has its own life...craving for survival.

The only thing  I failed to understand is,

why do people crave to be on top of everything, of why one must prove that he or she is better than the other, that one should have a name for people to remember them..

and once they get it, people say they've succeded. Whooah!! They call it success!!.

and the worst thing is...  it doesnt end up there... they crave for more, a never ending more.. of success!

Success from what?

Success for getting something which others dont have?

Success bcoz they feel proud about it? What is that for? Getting self satisfaction?

Making others envy of them?

Thats what really makes the world crazy

and making life stupid.

We complicate things and often confuses ourselves from being better ahead of others than by becoming better to attract better.

We complicate things in our hands bcoz of our desire of greatness

We can eat 3 times a day,

We have roof over us, a place to sleep on if we need rest

We have family with us

We have good simple friends

We have a simple life to live

But why we crave for greatness that complicates all, making us forget who we are, diverting ourselves to be a slave of desire of being great than the other.

Making ourselve a "somebody" by wearing a superfacial outfit "the mask".

What if we fail ?

Fail ourselves or fail the expectation of others from us

Do we get upset or get mad on situations that put us into the state of failure?

Do we have to cry?

Ok cry! Go ahead!

Cry out those stupid tears!

Yes stupid! for they are tears from stupid choices we've made!

You know what,

Its not really life that is stupid..

but people.

Stupid people craving of stupid stuff for stupid desire, hiding stupid tears in their stupid mask... 

and they call it, life.

Oh! What a life!

Are you into it?

Oh well, life is just like that.

Stop being a Victim of Problems

What is happiness for you?
yes YOU. 
I'm asking you because  you are the master of your own thoughts
- thoughts that direct your life 
- thoughts that speaks the person inside you
- thoughts that can make or unmake you
and your idea of being happy reflects in what you do.

You are laughing with friends, sharing jokes and funny quotes with them, but when you are alone you feel empty.
You are doing community works wearing an outfit of smile to people you meet but deep within you're striving for something which you could hardly define...
is that happiness?

I have this friend who is surrounded by suitors
She is beautiful. She often smile. She's fond of sharing jokes with friends
People always say, she has everything and that she is very lucky
but for me I see a lonely lady, wearing a smile behind those sad foggy eyes
then I asked her "why....what makes you sad despite of everything you have?'
she replied, "I'm dying."

You may have flaws, worries and sometimes you're mad about life, people, events or situations, but never forget that your life is the greatest innovation.
you are YOU, and it is only you who can prevent your life from getting off the track. 
In tough times, don't be discouraged. 
In sickness, never lose hope
There are many that need you, admire you and love you
just allow them to love you and care for you

Being happy is not having a sky without storms, or roads without accidents, or work without fatigue, or relationships without disappointments.

Being happy is finding strength in forgiveness, hope in one's battles, security at the stage of fear, love in disagreements.

Being happy is not only to treasure the smile 
but that you also reflect on the sadness.
It is not just remembering the great moment 
but also learning lessons in failures. 
It is not just having joy with applause, but also having joy in being alone, celebrating secretly the occasions that are meant to be treasured.

Being happy is to recognize that it is a worthwhile to live, despite all the challenges, misunderstandings and times of crises.

Being happy is not inevitable fate, but a victory for those who can travel towards it with your own being.

Being happy is to stop being a victim of problems but become an actor in history itself. It is not only to cross the deserts outside of ourselves, but still more, to be able to find an oasis in the recesses of our soul. It is to thank God every morning for the miracle of life, and in the evening for the blessings of the entire day.

Being happy is not afraid of one's feelings. It is to know how to talk about ourselves. It is to bear with courage when hearing a "no". It is to have the security to receive criticism, even if its unfair. It is to kiss the children, pamper the parents, have poetic moments with friends, even if they have hurt us.

Being happy means allowing the free, happy and simple child inside each of us to live; having the maturity to say, "I was wrong", having the audacity to say, "forgive me". It is to have sensitivity in expressing, " I need you"; to have the ability of saying, "I love you". So that your life becomes a garden full of opportunities for being happy.

May you become a Lover of Joy

"In your spring-time, may you become a lover of joy. 
In your winter, may you become a friend of wisdom. 
And when you go wrong along the way, you start all over again. 
Thus you will be more passionate about life. And you will find that happiness is not about having a perfect life but about using tears to water tolerance, losses to refine patience, failures to carve serenity, pain to lapidate pleasure, obstacles to open the windows of intelligence". 
-Pope Francis

What is happiness for me? 
It is about being a comfort to my dying friend, being her strength, her hope and her inspiration to live a happy life despite everything. 
It is about being positive, not allowing problems or worries to sit in.

Never give up
Never give up on the people you love
Never give up from being happy because life is an incredible show
and you are a special human being! 

 photo credit from google