Wednesday, October 19, 2011


"As each moment make known to me, I will discover new things..."

Each moment make known is a self discovery towards new and challenging things. 

These past days, dealing with the bad breaks of life and love has turned my world upside down. I thought I've gone crazy, with so much tension in me. I couldn't think, couldn't even work. Everything was so messed up! ohh what a life! I need to do certain things but my willingness hinders me.  I need to think rightly but I was too weak to even think. I felt all alone. I didn't know where to find anyone in the trenches like me, who were a little bit further along in their journey in this life and were willing to help me and teach me or advice me the right steps to take  to make sure I stayed on the right track. I felt like an outcast that no one was with me. Totally alone! Lost is the word to describe that phase of my life.

Tears has accompanied me throughout this journey of being alone. I lost my trust to anyone. I felt like I was taken for granted. Negative feelings engulfed my sorrowful heart and weary mind.  I know it wasn't right, but I let myself, at least for a moment, to have something to pin down. I cried hard and gathered all the pains inside me, and shout it out the best I can. Yeah, crying out is my way of consoling myself. This is how I dealt with pain.. tears is my console, my bestfriend. It was the first one to rescue me. Tears never fail to accompany me during my  hard days .. tears was all I got and it was the same tears that taught me about how it is to live.

Live with love and Survive
"I am used to pain" has already become my mantra. uhh? what is in the pain that I pampered much? Realization struck me, but instead of hurting, it has invigorated my entire being.  It took me sometime to realize that all  was caused of self pity. Pampering pain and self  pity will do no good, it's just a waste of time. So what!!  if things didn't turned out right as expected? 

Being away for quite sometime has helped a lot in curing my wounded heart.  That experience made me realize that even though I had been battered with pain, life had to be more about meaning, that life is full of beauty. Come to think of the less fortunate individual who are searching food for survival.. They survived!  so why can't I? 
I am a survivor... A survivor from physical anger of nature and from the hurtful playing emotion caused by people. With that tears, I am much stronger than I realize. I am stronger and more capable than I know. In fact now, I can proudly say, after all the pain I've been trough..I can handle everything that comes my way with strength to spare. Tears has become my strength.

Right  now, I need to change my view of myself to be as strong as I need to be. I am the master of my own self. I must treat it right. I must direct myself to be what I need to be. Right at this moment, I am what I need to be. In the next moment, according to an author, I will be able to respond to that moment with ease and grace. And so in the next moment as well. I musn't get distracted with this pain the world has given me. I must walk ahead, hold my head up high, and face the world wearing a confident smile. I am what I am and what I need to be. Life only seems irresistible  when I allow the future to roll out before me, outlined with fear and doubt. I will not live it as I fear. I will not live it as I imagine. I will experience it as it comes, each moment. This is my life in love's moment.. and this is how I must live my life.  I do believe now that each moment make known is a discovery of  new things in love and life. Out of this moment, I can be a different person than I am right now.

Allow this discovery of newness
I must allow this discovery of newness and strength to grow. I must set fear and doubt aside and fill myself with faith and action fed with courage, as I go along my journey in this newness, and with Love and Peace in the heart. Oftenly, before I was too weak.. but now, giving up is not my choice of word. I am strong and capable. I can rise up, fly high above the blue sky of hope, to the challenges of my life with much courage and love<3.  I can reach and touch the moon with my bear hands and shine out with my pure wish of all goodness.. goodness to myself and to the people who hurt me. I wish them all goodness, wellness and love as I step out into the world to embrace each new day with power infused with love and peace.<3 Nothing is impossible. :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

When our eyes met, there was magic

When was the first time we fall in love? How was the feeling?

      Going back when we first fall in love, on that very unforgettable date, the whole world seems to fade into the background.

      My lover is my no.1, the "center stage" as we call it.  I am yearning of his presence. I just love him so much that I dare not see anyone else. I always look forward of his message. A single "hi" is enough to keep me going the whole day. It made me complete. It made me wear a genuine smile to everyone I met. I didn't mind others opinion about  him. I didn't mind the world. I didn't mind if I was dreaming. All I mind was the sweet feeling of giving love and being loved.

      For sure you guys knew too about this feeling! You knew well how colorful the world of a person in love is. Our  heart can do wonders. We can make songs out from that feeling.  We can even make poems that help us convey the message from our heart. Being in love allows us to see the beauty of life. The beauty inside and out. All the things we see in this world, is full of beauty.. but nothing is more beautiful than the eyes of our beloved <3.

There's magic when your eyes rest mine
When our eyes met, there was magic!
pure, undiluted and electrifying... It coursed through my veins and lit my heart with 220 volts of emotions..
When our eyes met, a dreamy smile lit your face,
and my eyes glazed over.
Since then, everytime our eyes met, 
there is just plain magic! 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"It Rains When You Cry"

"I love to have tears, coz it somehow brings healing to my soul"

Tonight is a different night of all the nights..
The moon is so distant..
I feel him near, beside me, but seemed too far.

Sad tears clouded my eyes as I looked up and asked the moon why?
Something is wrong, everything seemed too lonely...
then by and by, his moonlight was out of sight..
tears were pouring  from that lonely sky!
and bathed my soul with  forlorn cries... 
it's raining now...

It's raining hard tonight! and you know what, these rains are my best friends. I used to go motorbiking with them..they know how I feel.

Tonight these rains are looking so sad and making me sad too. I'm asking why they're sad...
then, they are pouring their drops over me saying it's me, who's making them sad.. 

 "It rains when you cry".

I asked, "why it pours so hard"? the voice replied, the moon has spilled it out, for he has too much... he wants you to smile with the rain and stop crying because there's no one to wipe your tears away". 

I looked up the moon behind the clouds, with close smiling eyes, I let the rain wash away my tears!! 

"God.. he cares!".

"Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to put a smile on your face when you already have tears in your eyes".


Monday, August 15, 2011


"Every time I heard the word independence, freedom is the first word that comes to mind"
      During my college days, one of my professor asked me what freedom is. I had a hard time figuring out what is it.  I heard a lot about freedom but knowing me, when I cannot explained the complete detail, I'd rather not answer. 

     I left the classroom with a foggy mind, thinking about that freedom. I know freedom is about being free, but on what? and on how? I was walking along the corridor when a naughty classmate obstructed my way and suddenly kissed me... omg! yuckky! lol... 
Reflex has prompted me to slap the person. He threw at me a questioning look .. then to my surprised I said to him, " your freedom has ended up at my lips ". ohh jeez how come I was able to utter those words.. 'himala'!!. From that instant, I realized what freedom is. ;)

     Freedom for me is to freely do what I ought to do. "ought" means "we have to", and it connotes responsibility and fact. It must be within the law. The freedom to do things within the law.  We  are free to describe that a triangle has 3 sides, but we are not free to say a triangle has 4  sides coz it contradicts the law of stating facts. 
     We have the right to exercise our own freedom for as long as it won't hit another's nose or another's lips. This is what I believe in and become my mantra. I have the freedom to describe that a square has 4 sides, oh yeah I can freely say that. If I used my freedom to insist that a square has 3 sides, then I am already abusing the freedom which I have in me.

    In love's journey, freedom can be applied in love expression. If we know our freedom, we also know our limitations in our relationships. We should only do the things that we "ought" to do and not just because of our desire to do it. The same with love of country. We do what we "ought" to do for our nation, we exercise the freedom of speech, freedom of expression and so other things that concerns freedom. However, we have to make it sure that the freedom we aspire for the nation to strive for independence must not end at the lips of other nation's freedom. 

     If only every relationship, either personal or nation, knows the certain limits of freedom and independence, then what a bright and peaceful world to be. When everyone knows its limitations and value, no one dares to hurt a nation and peace is at hand! 

"Every nation should go beyond mere lip service to diversity and tolerance, and put LOVE & PEACE into action. As a peacemaker promoting human dignity, regardless of race, culture, belief or religion, we have responsibility to work hand in hand for UNITY and DIVERSITY. We are all equal in the eyes of GOD. India is celebrating now its 65th year of Independence. May all the nations con celebrate with them. Our earnest prayers for the nation and its people. Peace and Love may reign regardless of mixture of culture! Viva India, Viva for Love and Peace ♥" ~Leony C.~ (Post at Love & Peace group created by Sachin Ghalot)

Saturday, August 6, 2011

FACEBOOK...An illusion?

What's the point of love when you're asleep, when you're at dreamland making up promises.. which ends up in one's eyes and a journey to some practical life and leaving behind all those sweet words? 

        Facebook        - is a site used for social networking. 
                                    - Fb friends can provide the same support as     
                                               those in real life. 
                            - it can help freelance writers find an                 
                                audience for their page...  
                           - it can satisfy each person when it comes  
                               to curiosity about to their opposite sex
                           - and a lot more reasons...

(Facebook intimate moment)
(A glimpse on my book "Love Moment on FB") -Leony C.

Girl : why do u always keep on following me? Are you   
                      stalking my status?
Boy : whoa me? Following you ? never!
Girl : uh\?!! Are you fooling me?
Boy : Me fooling you? Why should I?
Girl : (Irritated) Will you stop cloning my lines… grrrr
Boy : okay I will stop, in one condition.
Girl : then whaaaat???
Boy : Stop following me.. and give me PEACE..
Girl : HUH?@@!! Me following you? Are you out of your mind?
Boy : Yes, I am out of my mind because you keep on following me...
wherever I go, you're always there, In everythin I do I see you..not even a minute you leave., each day is a torture thinking of you. Your face is always following my mind.. every night and day, the thoughts of you always bothering me..,see, I can't even concentrate my lessons thinking of you.. your smile has tortured me.. so please, STOP FOLLOWING MY MIND AND GIVE ME PEACE.. will you??
Girl : (stunned)

       Millions and millions of people are addicted to facebook nowadays. I once was considered myself to be an fb addict lol... You guys might say I'm kidding, but nah I'm not! I have a secret to reveal *whispers* the higher percentage of facebookers stayed fb for fun and/or for pleasure, romance to be specific. 

        What is this romance thing? hmm, it is an emotional  or spiritual intimacy or attachment shared  by fb friends that results from meeting each others ideas, and relationship. Many individuals are attach to this. Some has find it interesting and others find it not. But still they take the pleasure of taking the risk. They have tasted the sweetness of it, they are dreaming and afraid to wake up.. They are fantasizing and convinced themselves that everything was true and right. 

        During my lonesome moment, I reflect myself about these things.
I remember one time when I was walking under the moonlight! I was looking at the moon and many questions were bugging at me. I tried as much as I could to differentiate love in illusion and  
in reality.  Realization hit me. It's very hard! It is hard to accept  the fact that everything was just an illusion, much more harder when you try to convince yourself when you already have a close  or fix mind about what you believe in. It's hard to wake up from dreamland!

    The world we experience and the life we live, are the reflections of our thoughts and feelings. The same thing with love. We feel so happy or sad or empty, depending on the mood we have during the day. During hard times, we always say "The heart knows all" when we do not know what we do. We are dreamin while saying this I guess, coz the mind creates a world of illusion. By changing our thoughts and feelings, we change the illusion and experience a different reality. We do not create a world,   a world of a perfect love, only an illusion that looks real at facebook. No unusual power is involved here. It's only the heart<3

        When we are able to still the mind and the senses, our consciousness seems to shift into a new dimension. Actually, it is there all the time, only that the mind makes us think otherwise. When there are no thoughts in the mind, the world we know and believe is real, loses its reality. We become conscious of the world beyond the mind and illusions.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Yesterday, I cried, Now I can smile :)

"We cannot protect ourselves from pain and we cannot expect to trust life not to deliver pain. We can only trust ourselves to survive it." 
~Ron Tochnell~ (member of Love and Peace on the Earth group.. page created by Sachin Ghalot) 

Defeat the pain and be happy!
      This statement of Ron Tochnell has struck me. 

      This past days have been difficult for me. It seemed like I was on a journey with nothing but heartaches. Many painful emotions have been brought across my path and wrenched through my heart. I wanted much to post everything here coz this is my outlet, but a voice inside me has overcome my thoughts. It says, "How can you share positive vibes  to people if you are too centered on your pain?" It was then the time that I made up my mind to stand up and deal the pain. This is where Ron Tochnell's statement came in. 

      In life, we have a lot of sufferings. In love's journey, my previous posts have been a witness of those pains and heartaches. Life can be full of pain and sorrow.  It is difficult to grasp when others are purposefully inflicting pain on us and are relentless in their pursuit. But hey, life is beautiful.   Do we have to cage ourselves from those pain? From those people who inflict the pain to make our life miserable? If we would, then we are really  making our life's journey more miserable.  Where is our wisdom then? where is our pride? Why can't we just take everything positively? After all,  everything has a reason. I remember this line from Sachin Ghalot of Love and Peace on the Earth, "Everything happens for a reason, we only need to know what that reason is." Yeah, quite right, knowing what the reason is will help us understand more about the pain. Understanding the pain will lead us to acceptance and acceptance will give us peace and that peace will give us happiness. A peaceful and happy heart will defeat that pain. 

        Pain is always there but it is just a dot compared to the happiness we have to experience. Yeah, pain is just a dot and why do we let it controls us? Yesterday I cried, but today I formed  a genuine smile, a smile that lightens up my  hurting heart. Believe me, the pain is hard to recognize now coz what is left is hope and a sweet feeling of victory. Victory that I have defeated the pain.

       Ron Tochnell is quite right. We cannot protect ourselves from pain. we cannot trust life not to deliver pain. We can only trust ourselves to deal with it and survive. How can we survive? According to Sachin Ghalot, know the reason, and understand that pain. By understanding it will lead us to acceptance.  

Written by: Leony Cabauatan- a.k.a. - Moonrose

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

How painful is the pain?

“You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.”

How painful is the pain? well for me, pain is too much when your whole being is too numb and you could no longer feel the hurt, you could no longer think and your entire being is so empty. Pain is too much when you want to cry but nothing will come out from your eyes...
Much painful when you want to shout to release that heavy feeling, but you cannot even shout.  Pain is too painful when you die yet you still live.

People say:
Love is like a bond. It makes you feel great when you have it... 
Love help you up when you are down... 
Just to push you back down again!
Others say love is a feeling two people share,
Some say love is a game..., 
But I say:
Love is pain that we have to embrace. There goes the saying "No pain, no gain" so without embracing it, we can't go on living, after all, we are born to love and to be loved. No matter how painful the pain is, we have to go on loving. Yeah, love teaches us pain, and once the feeling of love goes, we all try so hard to feel it again.. life is so ironic. (sighs)    

Everyday, along my journey, I am always yearning for that real love. I am too focused of my feelings without considering the feelings of that someone whom I claimed I have loved, to the extent that he might got  suffocate of my behavior. I am too centered on my beliefs and conclusions, all because of jealousy.
I asked myself several times of why I always get jealous. Maybe I have grounds or bases of that jealousy, but, it will not justify to tolerate myself from messing up.  Still the fact remains that too much of it will suffocate a person. Too much of it will draw a person away from you. I just discovered it today, and it isn't too late :) 

I am used to pain. I just wish that someday, along the way, I feel no pain.

Be In A Relationship With Yourself (Ultimate Goal)

Has there ever been a time when you felt like you held onto something? You fought hard for it, but ended up frustrated or exhausted, Be...