Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Painful Truth

Painful Moment!!..   do I have to savor this moment?

It was dark. It was raining. It was so cold. It was last night! I see no colors. It was purely black! I see nothing but darkness. I feel nothing but pain.

Pain is in love with me. You know why? because no matter how I try to ignore it ..  it doesn't leave me. Love has left me, but pain is always there, haunting me, paralyzing me.

I can't move,   I can't breath... my  life has stopped. My journey has ended. The world is unfair.. Last night,  he let the moon hides. The world doesn't want  me to see his moon.. yes, the moon.

The moon is  hiding, and forever  be hiding. I could no longer see his magnificence. He has left me. He left without even letting me see his true nature, his true identity. He has promised me to see him, but it was all a lie. He forgot his promise. He  hides himself behind the clouds, the clouds of sorrows.

How can I fly? the beauty of the cloud has gone. It's all foggy  now, protecting the moon behind it. It's all darkness!  no ray of moonlight, even just a pale moonlight.  :(

How can I walk in the darkness?
I am paralyzed,  I don't feel anything except the tears flowing out from my eyes..
tears that travel towards my sorrowful soul.
tears that makes my vision blurred...
How can I see the light? the world has taken it away from me.
Painful moment, painful truth.. the moon is only attracted to me.
He knows from the very beginning that he can't have  me but still he pursued to own me.
Was he selfish from the very beginning? He has taken everything from me.. my happiness, my heart.
Now, he has left me with a reason, LIFE HAS CHANGED.
This is the most painful phrase I heard from  him . From this phrase, from these words, everything  has turned into nothing. It means then that because of change,  all his promises, all  his feelings towards me, all the good memories,  all the happiness we shared,  has changed.
He is so smart.. yeah he is, because he has driven my life smoothly, then when the road is too slippery and  too many humps, he left me to save himself.. saying, time changes!  Time has change and along with it is his change of feeling  towards me.
Time has changed, that's why there's excuse in everything.
I am a hindrance of his future... but still I pray for him to succeed.
I will bear to bear the unbearable pain... just for him to succeed.!

I will sit here,  watching the sky, hoping the sun would come up and show to me his smile.. even just a fake smile!.  






2 comments:

  1. Just feel that light inside you, it resides on your soul...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Dexter. I am striving hard to see the light within me..

    ReplyDelete

JOURNEYING WITH YOU

My heart tells me there's something wrong. It seems you're going through a journey with nothing but heartaches beside you. You don't have to say or utter anything for me to know and realize the anguish. I care too much not to notice...

Over the years, I have discovered that Love's journey is not easy. At first It gives us hope. It gives us a feeling of the so called "heaven". We feel that butterflies are flying inside our stomach. Maybe sounds funny and corny, but we don't mind all those corny things they said. What matters to us is the sweet feelings of being in love. We are in a high spirit of Love. But, have we forgot that we are on a journey? Each of us from time to time experiences crises from different life changing events and transitions, all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our well groomed relationship, we didn't ask for this interference and we wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion.

Love's journey is not easy, in fact, it often is hard. No matter what the source, each pain has a common bond, a threshold, a holy summons inviting us to cross a threshold involving both a leaving behind and a stepping forward.

Struggling day to day with the pain is an agonizing task. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am near if you need a lift of heart, a guiding hand, and someone who will be there with you to welcome the light of a new day. Just go on with your journey, because you are not alone. If the pain is too much for you, then.... GIVE ME YOUR WOUNDED HEART.