Thursday, December 1, 2011

THE HARD DAYS

      "Restore within me the integrity of heart that will not be shaken by any storms.., that no matter how hard my days are, still I will stand firm."

     It was a hot weather on that particular day, November 30, 2011, yet I didn't mind the heat. In fact, I was feeling cold inside. I was feeling blue and my entire being was like a robot after I left my computer with a  heavy heart. I decided to visit my friend after a stroll at my favorite mountain peak.  This is what I usually do every time I got a heavy feeling. To spend sometime to unwind.

     Little did I know, that day would give my life an abrupt twist. As I maneuvered my motorbike, I noticed him: "A big man with a mustache. He's approaching towards my direction and before I knew it, He was blocking my way.

     "Give me the key!" he demanded.
I screamed. I didn't move, holding on to my keys tightly. Desperate, he straightened up and pulled something out of his pocket, omg  a knife!!
     "I will kill you!, he  hissed pointing the knife at me.

     I couldn't cry, I closed my eyes and prayed aloud, speaking words only God could understand. And soon, at one point during the most terrifying moment, somehow, I was certain I would not die. I didn't know what happened, maybe confused by the sound I made, the man began cursing and then in a second he dashed to the street and jumped into a passing vehicle. He was gone. omg how did it happen? I was shivering when I left that place heading towards my friend's house.

     She wasn't there when I arrived at our rendevouz (our hiding place when we need to unwind). I went straight to her study room. Still full of energy, I grabbed her guitar and played a praise song. While I was plucking and humming the song, the hurtful realization of a relationship, the heavy feeling of the emotional distress I had for the day and that horrible incident flashed back my mind. It was towards the middle of the song that I broke into tears. I tried as much as I can to stand strong, to maintain a happy aura, but right that very moment, I gave in to tears!. Very much thankful that along my journey, He is always there, protecting me. Praise Him.

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JOURNEYING WITH YOU

My heart tells me there's something wrong. It seems you're going through a journey with nothing but heartaches beside you. You don't have to say or utter anything for me to know and realize the anguish. I care too much not to notice...

Over the years, I have discovered that Love's journey is not easy. At first It gives us hope. It gives us a feeling of the so called "heaven". We feel that butterflies are flying inside our stomach. Maybe sounds funny and corny, but we don't mind all those corny things they said. What matters to us is the sweet feelings of being in love. We are in a high spirit of Love. But, have we forgot that we are on a journey? Each of us from time to time experiences crises from different life changing events and transitions, all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our well groomed relationship, we didn't ask for this interference and we wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion.

Love's journey is not easy, in fact, it often is hard. No matter what the source, each pain has a common bond, a threshold, a holy summons inviting us to cross a threshold involving both a leaving behind and a stepping forward.

Struggling day to day with the pain is an agonizing task. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am near if you need a lift of heart, a guiding hand, and someone who will be there with you to welcome the light of a new day. Just go on with your journey, because you are not alone. If the pain is too much for you, then.... GIVE ME YOUR WOUNDED HEART.