"I have faked my greatest smile. Nobody will notice that it is just a lie. Everybody can see that I am happy, having no traces of pain.. I really want to cry and yet I still have to smile because everybody expect me to be alright"
A SMILE OF A BRUISED SOUL
Love's journey is said to be a balance of laughter and tear, happiness and sadness. But in life's journey, there are more sorrows than happiness. When we are happy, there are too many people that we can share our happiness with, but when we are sad, there are not many people willing to share our burdens. The irony of life, isn't it?
I haven't felt like myself these past days. A friend of mine has invited me to have a stroll just to refresh the mind from past days work. There was really no reason not to go but, I just didn't feel like it. So I spent most of the day at home, sitting and staring at my monitor but my mind was really blank. There was a feeling of self-pity, and I felt like crying. I don't really like the feeling, but I couldn't help it. I need to cry in order to remove that inner pain. I felt so numb and too weak. I was totally in a mess.
I do believe that everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion, but that time was totally different for me. It was until then I realized that I was beginning to fall into the so called "depression". I mistakenly believe that depression is only an attitude or a mood that I can shake off, but oh God, it was not that easy!
One night, when the pain was so fresh, I asked myself of whom I want to share my burden with. I have heard over the years this quote "Time heals all wounds", but do I really have to wait for the time to heal this wounded heart? I must do something. I was sitting again staring at my monitor at that moment, refreshing his previous messages. I stared at it while my mind tells me to have more respect for myself. I logically understand that sending a message to him is not going to make the situation any better, but then, my bruised heart enters the scene and subdued my mine. It says "Go ahead, come online, and you will feel better... temporarily at least." I simply followed my heart and the moment I opened it up, he was already there, waiting for me too and was about to do the same.!!
Jeeez!! the amount of tears I shed when he was out was the same amount of tears I shed when I let him in again. I thank God for He did not allow me to prolong the pain, I thank myself for allowing my wounded heart to overpower my mind. Now, my smile is no longer a lie. :)
"I love to have tears, coz it somehow brings healing to my soul"
Tonight is a different night of all the nights.. The moon is so distant.. I feel him near, beside me, but seemed too far. Sad tears clouded my eyes as I looked up and asked the moon why?Something is wrong, everything seemed too lonely...then by and by, his moonlight was out of sight..tears were pouring from that lonely sky!and bathed my soul with forlorn cries... it's raining now...
It's raining hard tonight! and you know what, these rains are my best friends. I used to go motorbiking with them..they know how I feel. Tonight these rains are looking so sad and making me sad too. I'm asking why they're sad... then, they are pouring their drops over me saying it's me, who's making them sad.. "It rains when you cry". I asked, "why it pours so hard"? the voice replied, the moon has spilled it out, for he has too much... he wants you to smile with the rain and stop crying becau…
"Take a plunge in the ocean of sadness, for you to understand happiness and appreciate life moment by moment..." ~Leony~
Life is said to be a journey..We have to live it moment by moment. CHERISH IT!
Cherished moments are those times that bring a smile to our face or tears in our eyes. They are special and remarkable. They are treasures.
We treasure every moment because they recall the memory of our loved ones - family and friends who'd been part of us and made our journey worthwhile.
They were part of the lessons we learned day by day and each piece of it has a special room in our precious heart.
They are not meant to be concealed or buried. They are to be relived, to be experienced again and again.. .."for they are influencial source of strength, guidance, inspiration, and hope as we journey on" (Fr. Jerry Orbus).
Normally, we only tend to reminisce the happy moments, setting aside those sad ones., and most likely many of us try to erase those that refreshes the pa…
Loving the right person
at the wrong time...or having the wrong person when the time is right...
...means LETTING GO!
(even if you still want to hold on)
You're in love with someone, only to find out that you can never be together 'till the end.
You spent your lifetime loving someone, missing him/her so badly, putting the person at the pedestal and yet, that person walks out of your life easily. Then, in order to console yourself, you gonna say: "Everything has a reason."
You can do nothing but cry to release the pain inside... the pain of losing.
With bloody heart, you still manage to smile..
a goodbye smile!
Staring at the person you love with smiling lips,
a crying heart, a bleeding soul reflects in your eyes!
You love the person...
yes, you love the person!
You wanted to stay forever but it can't be.
You need to be okay... you must be okay!
and let the world see that everything is fine!
That all is well (as you usually post on your facebook status)