Friday, February 18, 2011

Letting go

"By letting go, we actually allow more of the mystery of love to come in for us"


How can I let go when my world is YOU
     Everybody have something to say about love. But only few knows how it is in a journey. Love has never been smooth sailing! As we keep on journeying, there are moments that we need to battle the hurts and pain.

      There come times along our journey of love and romance, when we must learn to let go. For some of us, we must let go of a past romantic relationship. Maybe the relationship was not meant to be. Perhaps it was hurtful to us, or perhaps it was hindering the personal or spiritual growth of one or both partners. In this case, even when there may still be feelings of passion, or attraction, or just the comfort of the familiar, we must be strong enough in letting go of something. We must be strong in letting go of the hurt and pain that is tormenting us. It is not easy. Not at all, especially when we know that our life revolves with the person whom we truly love. Letting go of that person, and letting go of the past we have shared, letting go of all the dreams we build up, and letting go on everything that reminds us of him/her is the hardest part. 

     Pain is always there, yeah, and sometimes that pain will generate anger. In this case, we need to let go of the anger. Holding on to anger does not save us - and it might even serve to create problems in our physical health or emotional well-being. In the realm of romantic relationships, some of us need to let go of unrealistic expectations. Whether we have idealized a past relationship or just read too many romance novels, or have seen romantic movies.. some of us need to let go of the myth of the perfect lover: the fantasy of a relationship that requires no work and just brings us "happily ever after." By letting go, I am not implying "to forget" or "to ignore." By all means, we should carry with us the happy memories and the lessons we have learned from our past relationships. 

     However, we need to let go in the sense of releasing emotional baggage we may be carrying around with us, so that we may be open to, and present for, a new relationship. Unless we cannot let go of the past, we remain unhappy and we cannot find peace within. We cannot open our heart for a new and real relationship to come in. Let go of the love fantasy and get real. Get focused on things that lighten up the emotional baggage. It is normal that in every journey, there are lots of baggages.. and by this, we need to unload the unimportant one in order for us to journey  with a light heart and mind. 

Good bye!
     Letting go is never easy. It doesn't mean giving up, but somewhat accepting that there are things that cannot be.  Let me quote Winfrey's quote "Breathe. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure."

Let go of the past and focus on the present! Treasure what you have now! Unless you won't let go of your past, you could never value the importance of the present! ~Leony~


Friday, February 4, 2011

Mending A Heart

"I have faked my greatest smile. Nobody will notice that it is just a lie. Everybody can see that I am happy, having no traces of pain.. I really want to cry and yet I still have to smile because everybody expect me to be alright"
A SMILE OF A BRUISED SOUL
Love's journey is said to be a balance of laughter and tear, happiness and sadness. But in life's journey, there are more sorrows than happiness. When we are happy, there are too many people that we can share our happiness with, but when we are sad, there are not many people willing to share our burdens. The irony of life, isn't it?
     I haven't felt like myself these past days. A friend of mine has invited me to have a stroll just to refresh the mind from past days work. There was really  no reason not to go but, I just didn't feel like it. So I spent most of the day at home, sitting and staring at my monitor but my mind was really blank. There was a feeling of self-pity, and I felt like crying. I don't really like the feeling, but I couldn't help it. I need to cry in order to remove that inner pain. I felt so numb and too weak. I was totally in a mess.
     I do believe that everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion, but that time was totally different for me. It was until then I realized that I was beginning to fall into the so called "depression". I mistakenly believe that depression is only an attitude or a mood that I can shake off, but oh God, it was not that easy!
     One night, when the pain was so fresh, I asked myself of whom  I want to share my burden with. I have heard over the years this quote "Time heals all wounds", but do I really have to wait for the time to heal this wounded heart? I  must do something. I was sitting again staring at my monitor at that moment, refreshing his  previous messages. I stared at it while my mind tells me to have more respect for myself. I  logically understand that sending a message to him is not going to make the situation any better, but then, my bruised heart enters the scene and subdued my mine. It says "Go ahead, come online, and  you will feel better... temporarily at least." I simply followed my heart and the moment I opened it up, he was already there, waiting for me too and  was about to do the same.!! 
Jeeez!! the amount of tears I shed when he was out was the same amount of  tears I shed when I let him in again. I thank God for He did not allow me to prolong the pain, I thank myself for allowing my  wounded heart to overpower my mind. Now,  my smile is no longer a lie. :)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

JOURNEYING WITH PAIN

 I'm all Covered with Scars
(Special Thanks to Youth Encounter)

   I have trusted again and been  betrayed at times.
Why It Hurts to Care?

I have loved and ended up alone and in tears.
I have tried hard to care and failed often.
I have been warm and received a cold shoulder.
I have been through it, Lord.
I’ve fallen on my face.
I’ve been bruised.
Look, Lord, I’m all covered with scars!
I have done my best..
But my best was not enough



Is this my Fate?
Don't I deserve happiness?
 Am I destined for sorrow?


Wounded Heart


My Heart
My very precious heart is gorgeous, full of beauty. 
But when pain comes, my heart withers, its beauty disappears. 


Many times my heart has been like a rose flower- beautiful, full of joy and peace, ready to bring joy to others and to love others unselfishly. 

But now, my heart is closed, wounded, without joy and hope, without Peace & Love.





This is my hardest and painful moment. I feel that heinous knife stabbed at my precious heart, the heart that I can only be proud of.. is bleeding! 


No. This is no longer my heart.. because my one and only heart has been stolen by a man. How lucky that man is.. he could go somewhere else with my heart in his hand.. the only treasure I have is gone! 

 
Without a heart...
How can I live my life today? 
How can I move on?
Kindly hand it back to me, 
for without a heart, I couldn't imagine a day!

JOURNEYING WITH YOU

My heart tells me there's something wrong. It seems you're going through a journey with nothing but heartaches beside you. You don't have to say or utter anything for me to know and realize the anguish. I care too much not to notice...

Over the years, I have discovered that Love's journey is not easy. At first It gives us hope. It gives us a feeling of the so called "heaven". We feel that butterflies are flying inside our stomach. Maybe sounds funny and corny, but we don't mind all those corny things they said. What matters to us is the sweet feelings of being in love. We are in a high spirit of Love. But, have we forgot that we are on a journey? Each of us from time to time experiences crises from different life changing events and transitions, all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our well groomed relationship, we didn't ask for this interference and we wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion.

Love's journey is not easy, in fact, it often is hard. No matter what the source, each pain has a common bond, a threshold, a holy summons inviting us to cross a threshold involving both a leaving behind and a stepping forward.

Struggling day to day with the pain is an agonizing task. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am near if you need a lift of heart, a guiding hand, and someone who will be there with you to welcome the light of a new day. Just go on with your journey, because you are not alone. If the pain is too much for you, then.... GIVE ME YOUR WOUNDED HEART.